Well, that answer wasn't good enough.
What's next? What is your plan? What is your goal? What are you trying to accomplish by coming here?
An unfortunate mess. A glorious epiphany. A doubtful flaw.
This experience is mine. I don't want to share it. But sometimes I want to a little. It's not that I am selfish with the experience, nor do I want to hide it. It is powerful. I just don't think I can do it. Living it is taxing enough. Reliving it may end up doing no good for the listener, and may leave me twisted in hindsight analyzation and confused, recurring realizations. I may not benefit from experiencing it again through word spoken or written. Maybe I'm worried I will think about it too much, cheapen it, and lessen the affect (or effect).
Somehow I feel that I couldn't really go back to how I was, even if I tried. Not for long at least. However, I am still not confident enough to say, "I have changed." Not fundamentally, not yet. Even if it is true, I am not confident yet.
Again I veer toward the vague and ambiguous abstract thoughts. At least now I can use the excuse that I'm in Japan.
I worry that one may get the impression that this venture in exposition is indicative of the content to follow on this "blog" (I wish these things had some other name; the word just feels so ugly in my mouth). Although, I can't say that I won't discuss my expedition to the far east, I certainly won't make it the exclusive theme.
When writing informally, I do what I want. Even though I have already made it clear that I understand the failure of this answer to the question "Why?", I felt it a fitting way to end this half-hearted, divulgence tease. Simply put, I wanted to.
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if you don't look back and think about it... you might just forget it.
ReplyDeleteI CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM YOU STARTED A BLOG! Ok, I will stop yelling now.
ReplyDeleteImpossible. I could never forget. I think it's more of a worry that it will cheapen the experience. Or something like that.
ReplyDeleteD, you're smothering me. Haha, i kid i kid.
Greetings my distant friend (in location not relationship). I recall that we had a conversation where you asked if I had a blog. And I answered "YES", and your reply was "WHERE IS IT THEN?".
ReplyDeleteWell if you would kindly direct yourself to the link I have provided, you'll find my blog. Ill be posting another entry today....I guess.
-Your black & white friend
B. Riddick
link: http://ode2pizza.blogspot.com/
That's easily said, but people are able to block out very traumatic experiences... in any case, it is possible that you could forget a lot of interesting details.
ReplyDeleteAs far as cheapening it goes, I think you just have to pay attention to the way in which you present your material... I say "just", but it is probably not easy.
Still, I think it is worth a try.
i love you.
ReplyDeleteBR, I miss pizza. I look forward to reading your writing. I'm going to make you like newspaper. You'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteSP...I don't know, maybe I just don't feel like talking about Japan at the moment. Just thinking about it makes me tired.
BS, I love you too.
Oh, I wasn't trying to pressure you into doing it. I'm just happy that you're reading my walls of text...
ReplyDeleteI have a request (even though in your comment you said you didnt feel like talking about japan).
ReplyDeleteIf by any chance, one day make a post just about the streets of Tokyo? When I say "streets", I mean what goes on in the busy part of town; shows, traffic, advertisements, hobos, business men running to work, all the chaos (or so I would like to imagine) of tokyo.
And maybe some pictures to go along with it. Its just a request, in case you get bored and cant find anything to post about.
oh hey you're taking requests!
ReplyDeletei want a postcard :)