Vol I. Ch.1 part iii

I changed the title of my blog.  It seems to suit me better.  Also, I got tired of answering the question, no one cared anyways, and it's irrelevant now.  Though, the thought still lingers.  Regardless, I hope the symbolism in the new title is self evident.  There is no need to comment on it.  If you really want to, then by all means I will not hinder your expression.  Just really think about why you want to say what you do because I did and it stopped me from trying to explain it.

Well, that was excruciating and cryptic.  I will try to refrain from such diversionary writing in the future.
So here is the somber conclusion to chapter 1 of my novel, which I fear has not generated much interest.  I have both enjoyed and bemoaned writing it so far.  However unlikely it was for me to choose this project to see through, I'm glad I've at least taken it this far.  I suppose these posts are too long for the passing reader, yet I hoped some may read out of obligation and become interested in the character.  Hmm, that's got me thinking.  Anyways, here you are:

  The deadline for applications had ended. I never filled one out. You already know that. Still, I wanted to say it. At first, they thought everyone could come. The powers that be called on volunteers, asking for people to work for their own spot. They felt that the masses would be weeded out, and the strong would earn their place in their new society.

  Things really changed after the incident with Charles Dewey, an American of European descent. He was the face of the L.E.A.N. organization, officially titled the Liaison for the Evacuation of Allied Nations. Essentially, any nation that had a resource to contribute to the construction of a new society was able to join the Allied Nations. It was an investors club for world leaders. Charles Dewey was their charming mouthpiece. At 37 Years old, with a strong jaw, prominent brow, and perfect chest to waist ratio, including broad shoulders, Dewey brought the sense of strength needed for people to believe in the organization and themselves. In reality, he wasn't particularly strong, and he didn't have any real skills in engineering or construction or physics or anything really necessary to build those ships. All he was ever good at was talking and creating excuses. Excuses people gave in to. He knew how to get around things, how to get people on his side. People liked him. Dewey managed to be accepted by every kind of person.

  Still he was out there every day helping with the work.  Motivating others.  Maybe if he hadn't have been late that one day.  Maybe if it was some other day, but it wasn't.  It was that day, he was tired, he overslept.  The accident at the hydrogen testing laboratory probably would've happened if he was there anyways, but he had finally run out of excuses.  He wasn't a bad person, like I said, everyone liked him, even I did most of the time.  He received some bad press from the incident, but people were understanding and ready to forgive the "world hero."  Dewey really believed in all the political ideals he spread for LEAN.  He couldn't stop himself from feeling responsible for the accident.  It seems he wasn't quite as positive in private.  Sometimes you think of something so great but you don't write it down, and then later you get so sad when you can't even remember what it was about.  I don't think Dewey ever wrote anything down.  Just like in our world, political ideals weren't satisfying.

  Two weeks later, Charles Dewey killed himself.

  Obviously, the work went on, but people lost hope.  A wave of suicides swept over the world like...I'm just not in the mood to write anything interesting.  Charles Dewey is dead and in some ways I miss him, but who has the time and energy to miss people anymore.  Besides, if he hadn't of died I wouldn't be here.

  That's what makes me worry; I should have had the desire within myself to save my own life.  It took all that to get me here.  Two months later I was collected.

  Well this is all I can do for now.  I wonder what you think I'm trying to do, where you think I'm going with this.  Anyways, I'll send you more when inspiration strikes.